Written by: Tessa Yannone

I still remember the first time we met quite vividly. Granted, it wasn’t that long ago but no matter how much time passes I think the first time I walked up to you will be one of those milestone moments like when you graduate, get married or have a baby—something that will never be forgotten.

It was one of those moments where I felt completely out of place yet, at the same time, right where I needed to be. Girls around me looked so comfortable and they walked up to you and showed you who was boss. They approached you and the rack radiating confidence and completed their first squat attempts—all white lights.

Me, on the other hand, I felt like I couldn’t remember how to squat, my stomach felt like it was falling off a cliff, and my head was clouded and fuzzy full of so many different thoughts: “Should I eat more? Maybe drink some water? Should I put different socks on? I wish I had a headband. Is my singlet giving me a wedgie?”

Then the announcer called my name, Tessa Yannone, the bar is loaded.  

I looked out at the crowd, my parents sitting right in the middle. I focused on their faces and my coach put his hand on my shoulder, It’s just like any other day, we’re picking heavy things up and setting them back down.

My mind settled and I walked up to you. I placed one foot on your strange, gray carpeted surface, then the other and grasped the black, sharp bar sitting in the rack. Still looking at my parents I got under the bar, my gaze drifted to the ceiling and I walked the weight out three steps.

SQUAT!

I lowered the weight and shot back up like there was nothing on my back.

RACK!

I returned the bar back to the rack. Looked around for a minute. My heart was pounding like a drum inside my chest and I was a little sweaty, not because it was hard but because I knew this first meeting was the start of a very long and very fulfilling relationship with you…platform.

Powerlifting has brought me so many firsts. First time competing, first time lifting weights I couldn’t even imagine I was capable of lifting, first time feeling like an athlete again, first time finding intuitive eating while cutting to make weight, first time traveling to St. Louis and Louisville, and for the first time in my life I have the opportunity to compete at a National Level. I am still in awe by all that powerlifting has brought me in such a short amount of time and the best part is that I feel like this is just the start.

I’m so thankful that I have been exposed to a world where women are smashing stereotypes and not trying to fit into any preconceived societal molds. They’re unapologetically being themselves and encouraging everyone else in the process. At a meet, it’s so little about beating the other girls out and so much about cheering for others when they get stuck in the middle of a lift or when someone is going for a record and even lending a comforting hug when someone walks off the platform with red lights.

As a coach, I am very aware and conscious of the way the fitness industry portrays women and their bodies. It’s a difficult place to be in but a very empowering one and powerlifting have lent me quite the platform (pun intended) to be able to prove to women everywhere that “being toned” doesn’t have to be your only goal every time you walk into the gym.

You have me hooked, dear platform. You push me to work harder, dig deeper, be stronger, and never give up. Ever since hanging up my soccer cleats I have desperately searched for that feeling of being an athlete again. I searched for that feeling as I ran across the finish line of two half marathons and strutted across a bodybuilding competition stage both leaving me not wanting more. You, dear platform leaves me wanting much more than nine attempts.

Get to know Tessa a bit more. 

Written by Adrienne Thomas

My name is Adriene! I am competitive, extremely goal driven and work my butt off. I have never been “the best” at anything but I have always given everything my all. These traits are all things that contribute to my drive as an athlete, but they are also a crutch at times.  When it comes to powerlifting I have big goals, regardless of my limited time in the sport, my goals are what drive me and I have no doubt that I will one day achieve them; whether that be 5 or 50 years from now. However, I am starting to notice that this focus on specific numbers or milestones has really been crippling my experience surrounding training.

I wouldn't say I have been unhappy with my training, but something has been up, and I knew I needed to figure it out. Through some self-reflection, I realized that there hasn't been much celebration in my last year of training. Since June 2016, I have been dealing with injuries, rehabbing and fixing my weak points, all while trying to build strength and a solid foundation. The drive has been bumpy, it has been bumpy af and full of its ups and downs, crashes, flat tires and so forth,  but it is undeniable that  I have progressed as an athlete. I have hit some milestone numbers,  progressed in technique and I am finally not feeling broken … and with all that progress there hasn't been much celebration and that is a problem.

I noticed that I would hit a small PR, or a milestone and instead of being excited and proud I would think things like …….

• Time to get to (insert arbitrary #)
• Eh, it is okay but it still isn’t ( insert arbitrary #)
• Well, of course, I hit that PR, I should have had this months ago.  

When people ask about my numbers I shyly skirt around the topic. I didn’t think I was embarrassed about my numbers, but I was starting to realize that maybe I was, but why? I know my numbers are not elite, but they are still mine, even if they are not my “goal” numbers. I guess I was just having crippling thoughts of inadequacy because I was so focused on specific numbers.  I wrote before about riding myself of comparison to others, but I am also realizing that I am still learning how to enjoy the journey and not focus so much on the end goal. I will never forget something I heard Mark Bell say on his youtube, it was something along the lines of  “ Guys will say to me, man Mark that guy is benching 500lbs, how do I do that, and I say to them, by benching 400, then 410, and 420”. This quote is something that has stuck with me since I heard it, and as it popped into my head this week I had a holy crap moment. THAT IS MY PROBLEM RIGHT NOW. I am not enjoying the journey to the goal. The little steps that are necessary to get to the goal. I am not going to magically squat 400lbs, but every pound I add to that bar is one step closer I will be to doing so. The reality is while the goal may be 200 or 400, it doesn't mean that everything in between that is insignificant. ALL OF IT IS PROGRESS.

A friend also reminded me that there is so much more to celebrate than just numbers. She reminded me of the community I have helped foster at my gym, how I have been able to travel to judge meets, how I help anyone who asks, and how I now have access to this entire community all because of powerlifting… AND SHE IS SO RIGHT!

Anyway, I don’t really have much specific advice on this at the moment just wanted to share with you all the words and thoughts running around my brain. I always try to set non-performance based goals, so this will be a non-performance focus of mine moving forward. I am going to be more intentional about enjoying my process, lifting milestones and the community I get to be a part of. I don’t want to rob myself of my journey anymore or my celebrations!

So I want to end this with a BRAG ON YOURSELF moment. If there is something you are looking back on now and realizing you never celebrated or shared, do it now! Let’s celebrate our wins together big or small!

Get to know Adrienne and our other ambassadors more. 

Because of this beautiful idea, @girlswhopowerlift will be including #bragonit as a weekly part of our Instagram content! 

If anyone had anything bad to say about their experience at this years Jenn Rotsinger Women’s Empowerment Weekend, it’s 100% on them. Even if you had a bad meet performance, just being at The Jenn, named after one of the most genuine people that I’ve ever met, one the most fiercest athletes I have ever watched and a real inspiration for women in powerlifting, was more incredible and uplifting than anything I’ve ever experienced. I went last year and had butterflies in my belly from how truly awesome it was to be there and this year did not disappoint. Although, I did.

I signed up for the meet while simultaneously, asking for sponsorship information because how could I not support an all women’s meet to the fullest extent. However, I have this ever increasing battle within me between athlete and business owner. Similar to many of you who are parents or have time consuming and high stress jobs. Corey, my husband, and I are both entrepreneurs.  We both run Girls Who Powerlift and our new gym, Iron Knight. Since January alone, we signed the lease for a warehouse space where our gym is, and then signed a lease to the space next door, when it became available to set up warehouse and office space for GWPL. As much as we love what we do and love this sport, business ownership of any kind is incredibly stressful. We are devoted to our followers and customers and to our members. On top of it all, prior to finding the space for the gym, which took longer than we anticipated, we thought that we should finally treat ourselves to a vacation. So we booked a 10 day trip overseas.

As we got closer and closer to starting meet prep, I started to develop an impingement in my shoulder, which was actually from working and not from training. I got it treated as soon as possible in hopes that it would heal in time, which it did provided that I did the recommended stretching several times a day. I really try my best to heed the advice of professionals, but this type of treatment meant that if I missed a day or so of stretching and then tried to bench or squat, I was in pain for a day or so.

Training was not going well and then we went away for vacation. I was basically training once or twice a week and my lifts were feeling like boulders on my shoulders. I felt weak and exhausted all the time. I almost dropped out of this meet several times but it was a meet dedicated to women, I HAD to support it. My heart was in it but my head was not. To make matters worse, I had to go alone, without my person, my better half, the only person that can almost literally read my mind. Corey had to stay to make sure the gym was safe and stay home with my 9 month old handful of a puppy. The idea of doing this meet was becoming more and more daunting. Thankfully I have friends that love me and are willing to put aside their precious time to help me.

So we packed and got on the road. I told myself prior not to expect anything great. You’re only there to support the meaning behind The Jenn, empowerment. Corey, also my coach, told me to treat it like any other day in the gym. I trained well and consistently for about a week and half, didn’t peak, didn’t deload but my head was still in a weird place. I was ready to give it all up because it was too hard. I didn’t want to be laughed it. The passed 2 meets I competed in, the announcer always introduced me to the platform by saying the owner of Girls Who Powerlift. I was starting to feel like a joke. How can I represent GWPL followers with low numbers and at the highest weight I have ever been in my life? These questions and the feeling of doubt were rolling around in my head. I thought about what I would tell myself if someone were to send me a dm with these same feelings, but that wasn’t working either.

On Sunday, June 25, 2017 I put my singlet on and when I walked into that room hesitantly for rules and a girl that I stood next to asked me if I thought she should wear her squat shoes to get her rack height and I told her yes. She told me it was her first meet and she was really nervous. I told her, “just remember to listen to the commands and to have fun!” I’m not sure if I was talking to her or myself but a sense of calmness came over me and I realized that I started this because it was fun. I loved the feeling of being strong and being under the barbell. I love doing meets. Despite the fact that I hadn’t trained properly or peaked at all, I was here and I was determined to have fun! I was conservative, as usual, with my openers and although this was “just another day at the gym” it was one of those days that I was gonna see what I was really made, so my handler/friend and I made a plan. My bench had progressed the most so we decided to focus on that. My plan was to take it easy on squats, hit a small PR if possible, put it all into my bench and then go for broke on my deadlift, which of the 3 lifts needs the most work. And that’s what we did! I hit a 275 lbs squat, which is a 5 lbs PR and then went on to hit a 154 lbs bench press which is more weight than I’ve ever touched on bench. It was only a 6lbs PR but it’s the bench press so that is a lot! By the end of bench I was 6 for 6 and on top of the world! After watching Jenn Rotsinger and Trevor Jaffe go head to head on deadlifts for charity, I was fired up! We decided to change my deadlift opener, which was a good idea. The not so great idea was going up 40 lbs for my second attempt. Again, my deadlift has always been my weak point, leverages… but I was going for it. Second attempt got to my knees but nothing passed that, so I went for it again on my third.

I’ve never grinded out anything. I usually let go. I always sike myself out. I was determined to get this weight up. I tried my best. But my strength was not there. I walked off the stage in tears. I was embarrassed and I was upset. I wanted this so bad! I called Corey who was watching on the live stream, and he said, “babe, you did it!!” I thought the stream went out or something because clearly I had not done it! He said, “you wanted to leave it all on the platform and you did!!!” I cried some more, almost blubbered but he was right! For once in my career as a powerlifter, I failed, not because of a missed call and not because I gave up. I gave it my all!

Life PRs are tougher than gym or meet PRs. They don’t feel as good while they are happening. They feel heavier than any amount of 45 lbs plates on your back and they practically crush you but once you’ve gotten them, they are so much more rewarding. I may have initially walked off the stage like a baby but I was happy. I did what I came to do. I left it all on the platform. (I even got 3rd place in my weight class!) I learned a lot about myself that day. I learned that I CAN DO IT! I learned that I have an incredible team of people and friends that support me, even when I’m crazy, neurotic and controlling and I remembered why I love this sport. The highs and lows are a part of the fun. But more importantly, it’s the people, the meet director’s, their support staff, the audience and the athletes that make it awesome!!

If you are contemplating whether you should enter your first meet, stop! Just do it!! And I hope to see more of you ladies at next year’s The Jenn!

Written by: Adrienne Thomas

It happened again last week, and to be honest... it happens a little more frequently than I would like. The start of the week marked my final week of heavy training of meet prep. I hit PRs on all my lifts after enduring a prep full of trials and rehab.  In those moments I was high. I felt so fulfilled and overcome with that feeling that made me fall in love with the sport in the first place, BUT by the end of the week that feeling was gone. What had given me pride, power, and joy a mere 3 days ago was now the source of disappointment, self-hate and a plethora of other feelings that I could not quite grasp. 

CRAP, CRAP, CRAP. I had done it, again.
As I scrolled through Instagram watching all my strong frands do strong frand things, I  had gone from admiring them, to comparing myself to them.

"They have  been lifting as long as me and are way stronger”
“She can squat 3x her body weight...3x my bodyweight is 450+, I will never get that”
“I wish my deads were that clean”
"I am never going to have a wilks that great”

I had managed to diminish myself because I was comparing myself to others. In a sport centered around" lifting the most" it is so hard not to compare. At the end of the day, the sport is literally about who can lift the most weight.  But if it is simply “who lifts the most” or “who has the highest wilks,” what does that mean for me as an athlete? Can I only be satisfied or fulfilled when I am “the best”?  What even defines one as “the best”? Either way… that is not the most uplifting way to view the sport because the reality is there can only be one number one.

It is during these times that I really have to be active in reminding myself of WHY I started this sport and  WHY I fell in love with it.  Powerlifting is so much more than who is lifting the most.  I fell in love with powerlifting because I was able to see progress in MY WORK. No one else had any effect on my strength. If I put in the work, I progressed. MY PHYSICAL STRENGTH came down to MY WORK.  I love being able to see my friends accomplish their goals because I understand the work put in.The mutual respect, admiration, and love for the grind is why I love the sport. Don’t get me wrong, trophies, overall wins and all those other things are nice little-added bonuses but they are not the only aspects of the sport. The reality of this sport is I could show up to a meet, add 200lbs to my total, go 9 for 9,  all 27 white lights, have perfect form and there could still be someone who is stronger than me.  Does that, therefore, diminish all the work I put in. HECK NO.

I am learning it's okay to admire strong people. Those strong people are inspirational and help to break the barriers of what we think is possible. I am learning to watch and be inspired by amazing athletes and using them as motivation to push myself forward not break myself down. At the end of the day, the numbers I put up are mine, and that will always be something to be proud of.  So whether your numbers are personal records, state records, American records or world records, those numbers are yours, so own them.

Get to  know Adrienne better

by: Marlene Pizarro

Like many young girls, I, too dealt with low self-esteem. I was influenced by the media and convinced I needed to fit their mold of the ideal female body. Straight hair, flawless skin, tall, thin legs, small waist, and visible collar bones. I was a 5' 2", 135 lbs., curly hair, inherited my mother's thick legs 13-year-old with acne. I vividly remember on my 15th birthday refusing to leave my house because as much as I tried makeup would not cover my acne scars and every outfit I tried made me look “fat”. I couldn't even look myself in the mirror. This perception of myself followed me until I was 20. At that point, I had tried every trendy diet, never stayed with a workout routine, and had gained 15 lbs. After hitting a new high on body weight, I decided to try free weights as a method to lose weight. I met my boyfriend at the gym and he introduced me to powerlifting. My intentions were still to lose weight.

But as I started seeing progress in my strength, my intentions had change. I had become more interested in what my body was capable of not what it looked like. This shift in mentally is what changed my life. Powerlifting started to empower me. The thought of one day squatting my bodyweight was exciting as well as making more progress in my other lifts. I was determined to reach my goals. This new-found empowerment also, changed my attitude in the gym. I became unapologetic about my space at the gym. No one was going to make me feel bad about using the squat rack for too long or feel the need to give up the bench because I was only benching 80 lbs. Comments like "girls shouldn't have muscles" or "you're strong for a girl" is what fueled my fire. I was not going to let anyone make me feel belittled in the space that made me feel the most empowered.  

After three years of powerlifting, I decided to compete and on the platform was where I discovered a new side of myself. I used to say the person I am during a competition was my alter ego. This person is fierce, focused, and perseveres for what she wants. I’ve discovered that person is who I aspire to be on a daily basis. I want to be someone who isn’t afraid to chase goals that may seem impossible and have the confidence to face my obstacles straight ahead. I’m proud of the body powerlifting has made but I’m more gratified of the mental strength that has developed from it. The skills that have developed from powerlifting have transitioned into all aspects of my life. One of the most important skills is knowing failure is not the worst thing that can happen. The worst thing is never trying. I have had my share of failure during training and meets but the moments I remember the most are those when I decided not to attempt a lift in fear of failing. I don’t want to live my life with “what if”. Now, I confidently tackle any difficulty thrown my way. In the process of becoming mentally stronger, I’ve learned to love the way my body looks. I can happily look myself in the mirror and see a badass gal who is proud of her thick legs. Now, my outside matches my inside. Next time, you are looking at your new obstacle whether it is weight on the bar or a change in your life remember you are a strong, confident, unapologetic person who is capable of so much. And tell yourself, “I can do this”. 

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